The Abstract Life

Insecurities + Learning to Let Loose

February 25, 2019

I recently met up with Kara-the creative mind behind the Whimsy Soul-in San Francisco for a day of well, whimsy. We wanted to have a day to just get comfortable shooting with each other and have fun and recharge as creatives. It started off in downtown San Francisco in the FiDi (Financial District) and moved further and further north in the city. We had a lot of moving conversations about how terrifying it can be to put yourself out there and claim to be a creative and show your pictures to the world proudly. There are far more talented individuals out there who make a living shooting gorgeous photos that are truly art; it's hard to not compare yourself or be afraid the community will belittle your growth as you strive to learn. We reminded ourselves that you can't compare your beginning to someone else's middle, or your middle to someone else's end. It was so valuable to meet up with Kara and to encourage one another and remind ourselves that "Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities."

For me, those insecurities can be both physical and mental. I think about how I look in my clothes. The fact that in the past few years, as a result of poor health choices and depression, I've put on some 30+lbs and feel very self-conscious about my appearance. I overanalyze how my photos aren't consistent or have poor composition. How I haven't determined my "brand" yet and stuck to it. I worry about how many followers I have and if it makes me look foolish to be blogging if no one is reading or viewing my content. It's hard not to spiral and stop putting myself down. When that happens I'm not having fun with my work. I'm not creating. I am going through the motions and letting outside influences dictate what I'm doing. That's why I was so glad to just have a day to celebrate being comfortable and free with Kara. She is such a positive influence and is wonderful at heaping love on others. We talked about our insecurities, how they aren't helpful or productive, and reminded each other to be kinder to ourselves and to find the joy in what we are doing.

Most of these photos are from the beginning of our day and as we got more comfortable the creativity just started to flow. I can't WAIT to show you the other sessions from later this same day as they turned out gorgeous. However, this was our beginning and I wanted to celebrate and respect it for what it was. FUN. Remember folks, sometimes all you need to get started is to do something fun.

PS: I would love to point out that I jumped over a fire hydrant in tight cotton jeans. This is my greatest physical feat yet.

Where to Go This Weekend: Northstar Lake Tahoe, California

February 11, 2019

Lake Tahoe is a perfect destination for skiers and snow boarders. Northstar is my favorite ski resort so far around this glorious lake when it transforms into a Snow Covered Wonderland. You can enjoy the snow, s'mores and cozy fires, spa treatments, views of snow capped mountains while swimming in heated pools, and so much more!
With it being a mere three hour drive from the Bay Area it's the perfect weekend getaway. Here is a bit about my experience while staying at the Ritz-Carlton and Northstar Resort in Lake Tahoe, the Sierra treasure situated at 6,223 feet on the border of California and Nevada.

Ski Season:
First off, you should know that skiing in Tahoe isn't limited to winter! With the abundance of snow this year the ski resorts are extending their seasons. Northstar is planning to stay open until end of April, while Squaw Valley predicts their season will go until June. I plan on going back a couple of times before the end of season to get as much snow time as I can!

While I'm often a budget conscious traveler I occasionally enjoy the pleasure of splurging on a slice of luxury. When we had the opportunity* to stay at the Ritz-Carlton at Lake Tahoe, located on the Northstar California ski resort we had to go.

While it's a given you'll experience luxury at the Ritz (it's like walking around in a wealthy fantasy) my favorite part was the perfect après perk of ski-in, ski-out. We would spend time on the slopes, get tired and just hand our gear to the attendants, and go warm up by a fireplace with table service for drinks and lunch before hitting the slopes again.

Skiing:

The powder and weather were perfect! I used our Epic Passes and were able to ride any of the lifts as many times as we wanted. The slopes weren't overly crowded either-which is usually the part I dread when skiing. It's always lame when there are long lift lines or too aggressive snowboarders making it hard to maneuver the slopes when it's too crowded. For me it was a 10/10 experience.

Jessica is new to skiing so while she was getting comfortable with learning some more advanced skills I was happy to start off on the easier slopes to warm back up. Though I spent my entire childhood skiing I haven't been in years since I had an accident. GOOD NEWS: It was like riding a bike and easy once my muscle memory took over!

Our Ritz Stay:
While I wasn't into it, my travel buddy (Jessica of Hej Doll) enjoyed the heated outdoor pool (personally, I couldn't handle the idea of wearing a swimsuit in 14 degrees fahrenheit weather. Our room was also memorable with with a fireplace and huge windows overlooking snow covered trees on the mountain peaks.

We opted for the brunch buffet one day, breakfast in bed the day after skiing (we were just so tired!), and ventured out to Truckee to Coffeebar (one of my favorites boutique coffee spots in California!) for breakfast.

We would watch the sunset outside (it was like watching the sky set on fire) before going to dinner. All of our dinners were at the hotel's fine-dining restaurant, Manzanita (pricey, but some of the best filet mignon I've ever tasted!). Afterwards we walked around the grounds looking at the lit trees and star gazing.

One of the little things that really made me super happy was the artisanal s'mores around the fire pit. The hotel's chefs make changing flavors of marshmallows (we had vanilla, berry, and coffee). You can enjoy these (and standard marshmallows) during the hotel's complimentary s'mores bar hour or at anytime of your choosing by ordering a s'mores kit.

To summarize: If you're not into skiing the Ritz is still an ideal winter luxury retreat. The food is incredible, the outdoor pool is [reportedly] toasty, and the spa has a myriad treatments for you to enjoy. Also: there is an endless supply of fireplaces both inside and out for you to watch flurries, sunsets, or snow bunnies (whichever is your preference). Next time I'd like to spend more time around the North Lake Tahoe area (like Truckee). We were unable to leave the resort much due to the snow storm that hit the day we arrived. Made for fantastic skiing-but I wished we'd seen a little more of the area. Otherwise, it was nice to get as much time as possible on the slopes and around the luxury hotel and make the most of the experience!

*Our room was comped, however, all opinions and and experiences are my own. Thank you Ritz-Carlton and Epic Pass for your generosity and the perfect weekend!

Travel Guide: Raleigh, North Carolina

February 11, 2019

The Secondhand & Vintage Shopper's Ten Commandments

February 04, 2019

Buying secondhand and vintage clothes isn't exclusive to the broke student anymore (though that may be where many of us got our start). I, personally, began my secondhand buyer journey very early in life. Many early Saturday mornings were spent rummaging garage sales or thrifts shops with my mother as young as four years old. I'd take my allowance and my mother would help guide me and teach me to barter for China-dolls, pogs, and a pair of light up Disney Pocahontas velcro sneakers. This developed over the years and my appreciation for excellent vintage blossomed. By my teens my eye and skill for finding and styling well-made clothing or home goods became an art. Not only was it all I could afford (my family had extreme financial difficulties during this time) but it allowed me to creatively express myself.

Whilst everyone else was wearing soulless, mass-produced polo shirts and ruffled mini skirts I delighted in pairing my grandmother's 1950's chiffon dress with my mother's 70's leather jacket and my Goodwill sourced modern boots. While I may have been born and raised with the secondhand soul, not everyone comes by it naturally. Many become anxious and overwhelmed when searching for pieces and leave empty-handed. They'll claim it's just easier for them to buy new; discouraged and unable to see the potential in so many items. If you're in that department: this article is for you.

Disclaimer: You don't have to dress as "creatively" as I do/have in my past (see my early styling days of mixing vintage with everyday wear). It can be about buying well made pieces, being eco-friendly and sustainable, or shopping on a budget.

The Secondhand & Vintage Shopper's Ten Commandments:

Be True to Yourself: Just because it's a well-made item and a steal of deal, if corduroy overalls or floral oil paintings aren't your style then pass on these. Look for pieces that spark joy and that you are drawn to over and over again (new or old).
Experiment: Being true to yourself being said, if you do find yourself looking to try new styles secondhand is the perfect way to test it out. It's affordable and if you change your mind you can always donate your trial runs and not contribute to more waste.
Start Gradually: If you're a newbie to the vintage game and/or are turned off by the idea of owning used items start gradually with items that bear little evidence of their previous lives. Purses, belts, silk scarves, and jewelry are excellent ways to ease into sustainable shopping.
Combine Old with the New: Wearing purely vintage isn't suggested unless you want to look like you're headed to a costume party. The secret is to mix in these pieces into your existing wardrobe. Pair those vintage Levis with a cashmere turtleneck and Alexander Wang boots. The key is to find a happy balance that adds interest to your outfit while looking organic.
Get Creative! If you're comfortable with getting crafty DHY (do it half yourself) and dye a dress to a more up-to-date color, buy a bargain top just to steal the buttons to add personality and a unique flair to another piece (use the bargain top material for cleaning rags or recycle), take a dress' sash and use it as a headscarf (pictured above), change the shoes laces for velvet ribbons, hem a dated skirt to flatter you, etc.
Leave Your Snobbery at the Door: While it can be an absolute thrill to find designer items (I've found items from Burberry, Oscar de la Renta, Chanel, and Dior for complete STEALS) this isn't the time to be a brand snob. I don't mean you should still consider Forever21 (QUITE the contrary!). I'm saying check for quality, not brands (though, I do find it a quick shortcut to look for certain brands that are known for their quality craftsmanship). How do you do this, you ask....?
Check for Quality Craftsmanship: Turn the garment inside out and inspect the piece fully. If the inside is made just as beautifully as the exterior it's a good sign that this piece was made to last. Look at the lining material (is it silk or polyester?). Test the seams: are they well and precisely sewn with a tight stitch? Or are they noticeably mass produced in a factory with sloppily sewn seams? Same goes for buttons. Factory machine sewn buttons will always have stray threads. These will always fall off sooner than hand sewn buttons. Look at where the fabric meets. If there are stripes or a pattern, does is line up? What is used for the zipper or button materials? Plastic / polymer or beautiful metals, mother-of-pearl, or wood? In today's modern fast fashion world with mass produced items it's nearly impossible to find quality craftsmanship that is affordable. The whole, "Things just aren't what they used to be," saying completely applies here sadly. Yet another reason to shop secondhand and vintage. You can see how these pieces hold up against the test of time with maintenance.
Check for Beautiful Fabric: If you're been doing this a while you'll know it's a tactile sensation. Often when secondhand shopping I can just run my hands along the racks and stop once I feel the soft or rich feeling material. Then I read the labels: checking for the material's source (is it from couture locations such as Italy / United States / Paris or a mass produced country like China?) and composition. I try to opt for natural materials such as leather, wool, silk, cotton, angora, camel hair, vintage fur*, and viscose (made from plant fibers). However, not all natural materials are created equal. Go to an the expensive designer parts of Nordstrom or a boutique and feel their clothes made of wool, cashmere, silk, or cotton verses the cashmere at Uniqlo or cotton at H&M. The quality of material, weave, and treatment have a remarkable impact on the feel and end result of the fabric. A way to test the quality of wool, cashmere, or silk is to rub the piece together. For wool/cashmere if the fabric balls up it's lower quality. For silk, you should feel warmth when you rub the material together against your palm. I also listen for a distinctive crunching sound (like stepping on snow) when rubbing silk together.
Pay Attention to Details: Does the zipper work properly? Does the leather smell musty? Is the fur rotting? Does the liner of ____ have sweat stains? Does anything bunch from being sewn poorly? Is the silk stained or water damaged? Is it genuinely vintage or is just an old, poorly made department store item? Never compromise workmanship when shopping for your clothes. You should be just as proud buying your vintage items as you are when taking home something new.
Try it On! I know so many people who have made the mistake of impulse buying secondhand items and not trying them on or inspecting them-only to get home and discover a hole somewhere, a stain they overlooked, or just to realize the cut and fit are completely wrong for them. Trying on clothes gives you time to feel, smell, and check in with the item. Don't rely how it looks on a hanger. Styles and cuts change drastically over time in fashion and once you try the clothes on you may notice these better. Don't fret though, you may be able get a piece you otherwise love altered to a modern style or tailored to fit.

Here are some excellent pieces from my latest thrift haul that I discovered. I didn't take them all home (some where too similar to items I already have) or the fit wasn't quite right for my body. However, all of these were worthy of coming home with another lucky shopper. I'm also sharing how I'd style some of these pieces with my wardrobe.